Got Girls? Good for You

Do you happen to have a daughter? If so, you’ve got a lot of goodness in your life, according to a Buzzfeed contributor who writes “7 Scientific Reasons To Have Daughters.” (We’ll assume, for generosity’s sake, that the word “scientific” is used loosely here.) She makes the case that “daughters can make their parents healthier, happier and nicer.”

This writer argues that daughters do a world of good for their folks, and she points to various studies to support her claims. For example, she says, daughters are more likely than sons to give financial assistance to their senior parents. And families with two girls are the happiest, compared to all possible combinations of sons and daughters. And having daughters contributes to a dad’s longevity.

Unfortunately, the writer’s logic is, well, a tad flawed. Yes, female baby boomers are a little more likely than males to give money to their moms and dads. But the same study found that males are a lot more likely to help with home maintenance – which sounds like a pretty useful trade-off to me.

How about those happy families with two girls? The researchers here found that while a pair of daughters did spell perfect bliss, a set of four daughters actually puts parents at the wholeheartedly miserable end of the spectrum. (Less is more?)

And that whole live-longer-with-daughters study? That may work out for dad, but it turns out daughters – and sons, for that matter – actually serve to shorten the life of poor, frazzled mom.

It’s fun to play with science, isn’t it? At the end of her article, the writer cites a study showing that daughters often give medical advice to mom. And while that sounds lovely and caring and kind, on the other hand it begs the question: Just what kind of messed-up, half-assed health advice are these girls dishing out, if it’s sending mom into an early grave?

No matter. I have a daughter, and I do believe with all my heart that she contributes health and happiness to my life. Will my life span be a little shorter because I have a girl? Will my lawn get overgrown, because I have no son to tend it? I don’t care. Minutes ago, I got a sweet smackeroo planted on my cheek. So… totally… worth it.

I kissed a girl, and I liked it…

I kissed a girl, and I liked it…

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