Category Archives: Ideas

Top Tales in 2015

It may be a bit late for a reflect-back-on-the-year-that-was post, but since someone wished me a “happy new year” just last week, I say let’s go for it. Today, we’re revisiting the most popular 50 Good Deed posts of the previous year. Which stories captured the most views? We did this a year ago, and after a series of careful double-blind studies with control groups we came up with our results: In 2014, it was puppies and babies that grabbed your hearts. Kind of a no-brainer, right?

But in 2015, the top posts were a little different. Not that they’re without youngster or canine representation. In third place, “Morris, Who Works Like a Dog” told the story of an adopted sheepdog who has quickly learned to pitch in at the family business… specifically, a funeral home where skills like consoling, comforting and making cutey eyes are in great demand.

The second-most-popular post was “A Close Shave.” This was about my friend Ella, a.k.a. selfless mother of the century, who encouraged her son to shave her head – losing 26 inches of her hair to the floor – just so she’d match him, after his life-saving emergency brain surgery.

Both these stories are heart-rending, because they involve loss, or near loss, and these are terrifying to contemplate. For a complete change, let’s turn to the number-one 50 Good Deeds story of 2015, about a celebrity act of kindness: a few caring words from singer-songwriter  Melissa Etheridge. The words in question were directed at my friend, a (rather starstruck) young flight attendant, while everyone on board his plane coped with a long delay. There are no puppies or children in this story – unless you count my friend’s tired dogs after spending many hours on his feet – but, probably thanks to a few tweets and then a retweet by the fabulous singer herself, “Like the Way Melissa Etheridge Does” gathered more attention than any other blog post all year.

I am always grateful to readers who spend time on this website when there are countless others competing for your attention (did you know that if you enter “blog” in a Google search, you get over five billion results?). Thank you for being an important part of these stories of kindness – because, of course, that’s what you are. No matter where we are in the world, and no matter where we are on our journeys, there are threads that connect us all. (I’m tugging one right now, do you feel it?) Happy new year.

BabyCute1

Here you go, fans: A cute baby, and something furry.

Words to Live 2016 By

Try this: Ring in the new year, wait a few hours, then take some time to scroll through your social media feed. The tide of benevolent messages is guaranteed to raise your spirits. (As for your hangover, we regret there’s not much we can do for that.)

On January 1, fueled by goodwill, folks have a tendency to log on and throw out a general smattering of new year’s wishes for all their friends and acquaintances. There are oodles of platitudes about prosperity and good health – I can get on board with those, as I happen to be a fan of prosperity and good health. But I’m touched by the notes of real compassion tucked in and amongst these messages. So many of you are concentrating on what we can and will do for others during the next 12 precious months.

I’ve collected a few New Year’s gems to share:

– “A new year… where we are all better people and are able to touch someone as much as they have touched us. Make a difference both in your life and others’ lives in 2016.” (posted by a thoughtful guy who used to help my husband with personal care)

–  “Let’s stand up & recognize our common humanity on this earth!” (posted by a politician I’ve known since our fun-filled university days together)

– “Be kind to all, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle.” (posted by a disability advocate and friend)

– “Because it is a leap year, we have 365 days left to look after ourselves so that we can look after others.” (posted by another esteemed colleague)

These sentiments are meaningful because I know the people who wrote them, and thus I know a little about their own struggles and triumphs. It’s remarkable to me that the people who’ve pushed through treacherous times are often the ones who are most focused on others. Is it because they know exactly how it feels to receive compassion, and yearn so strongly to pay it forward?

It’s inspiring, it’s uplifting, it’s an awesome attitude for a new year. If I haven’t said it already, happy 2016. And I do mean happy.

HappyBaby

Doorbusters

As Joni Mitchell observed, “It’s coming on Christmas, they’re cutting down trees…” Well, as of this writing I haven’t yet sourced my balsam fir, but only because I have a to-do list as long as a tree trunk. My gift list seems even longer, which is why any strategy that makes shopping easier will score points with me.

My neighbour has come up with what I think is a brilliant plan to raise funds for a children’s hospital, meet gift-shopping needs and clean out the spare-gift chest in her home.

If you have kids, you are familiar with the spare-gift chest. Only you may call it the spare-gift cupboard, or perhaps the spare-gift nook. In my case, it’s the spare-gift cardboard moving carton. That’s the place where you store the extra games, books, puzzles and craft kits that you bought on impulse or on sale, the ones you collect and stash away. They’re not there for a rainy day, but rather for a day when you discover your eight-year-old has been invited to two different birthday parties, they’re both tomorrow, she forgot to give you the invitations until right now, and there’s no way you can go out to buy presents and finish the report your boss needed yesterday. Oh, spare-gift cardboard moving carton, you have saved us many a trip to the 24-hour drugstore for Mickey Mouse bubble bath.

As our kids get older and their parties involve a lot fewer Lego kits and Little House on the Prairie box sets, you realize you aren’t actually using the spare gifts all that often anymore. That’s where my neighbour is. So she’s purging, and this is where she gets creative. She’s systematically selling off her stash of gifts – in exchange for donations to the children’s hospital.

It’s holiday cheer for everyone. It raises money for an excellent cause, and it frees up some storage space in her home. Plus, it enabled me to find the perfect present for a pint-sized relative.

NelsToy

To avoid the risk of ruining surprises, I won’t post a pic of the toy I bought. But here’s something else that was up for grabs. (Admit it – even you would love the gift of a Darth Vader piggy bank.)

From Paradise, Nova Scotia, to Champagne, Yukon… We Welcome You

I mostly avoid discussing things like politics, religion and sebaceous glands on this blog. Some topics are simply too divisive, and this is a place for connection. But I don’t know anyone who is untouched by the stories of anguished families in desperate need, no matter where they come from or whom they pray to.

I’m gladdened by the open-hearted response of the Canadian community in the midst of a global crisis. We want people to be safe. We want them to feel welcome. And we want them to be able to cope with our challenging, yes-blizzards-do-blow-sideways Canadian winter.

I’m also impressed by the boundless creativity of Canadians when it comes to finding original ways to support the cause. For instance, a newlywed couple called off their fancy wedding reception, used the money to support a family of refugees, and asked wedding guests to do the same in lieu of eight-piece bakeware sets. Writer colleagues of mine have organized an upcoming evening of readings, music and silent auction. Two women in my community are offering surprise grab bags of novels – guaranteed to be good reads, they promise. (I’ve ordered two. If you’re itching to know the titles, I’ll report back.) My daughter’s class is collecting warm coats to distribute to new families, in the hopes that icy blasts of snow need not be another burden for them to bear. Here’s one that sounds even more fun than the surprise books: surprise dinner. That event was put together by a youth group in Stratford, Ontario.

Why are Canadians such divergent thinkers? Is it because we’re accustomed to outsmarting snowdrifts, or planning just the right angle for that slapshot, or tracking down the nearest Tim Hortons, or [insert another Canadian stereotype here]?

Fun fact: In a report called (rather unoriginally, I think) the Global Creativity Index, Canada just ranked fourth in the world. Apparently we score well because our country is good at embracing diversity, which in turn helps our productivity, competitiveness and economy.

I say it also helps our capacity to support newcomers. Canada, you go.

CoatDonation

A donated coat: Sharing the warmth, literally. (Using the word “literally,” correctly.)

Turkey Day Tidings

Have you emerged from this weekend feeling like you’re the butterball? Canadian Thanksgiving will do that to you. But if you spent time sharing a festive meal with loved ones, wasn’t it worth sacrificing a belt hole or two? To mark the holiday, we at 50 Good Deeds present you with six fun facts about Thanksgiving and giving thanks.

1. Experts say Thanksgiving is one of our most chill national holidays. Compared to other holidays that involve a string of social obligations, a vulgar amount of gift-shopping, or potential long drives through blizzards, there’s not much to stress us out at Thanksgiving. Really, you might spend a few minutes fretting over whether the brined method truly is best, but that’s about it. Hey, we even get a long weekend.

2. There are 531 turkey farmers in Canada. They supply Canadians with over three million whole turkeys at Thanksgiving time. The scope of the tofurkey industry is a little less clear.

3. Cranberries were used as a symbol of peace by certain Aboriginal groups in North America. In our family, it still works: Pass the cranberry sauce and pipe down.

3. If you’ve ever experienced a post-Thanksgiving-dinner food coma, don’t blame the tryptophan in turkeys. Scientists say it’s more likely a result of the obscene amount of calories you’ve just taken in, or the alcohol (or both, we’re all saying to ourselves right now).

4. “Thank you” comes from the same root word as “think,” and implies that you’ll remember fondly this kindness that’s been done to you. In Portuguese, obligato roughly means, “I owe you one.” In Finnish, kiitos is from the same word for praise. When you thank someone in Finland, you’re actually saying, “Praise be to you!”

5. When you express thanks to someone who’s done you a favour, you increase the likelihood that they’ll help another person. When you bring someone a thank-you note, your own happiness level rises. When you send a thank-you note to a hiring manager after an interview, you’re more likely to land the job. Thanking people pays off.

6. In the Middle Ages, turkeys were commonly referred to as turkey coqs. That is all.

I’ll leave you with this quote, sourced out by an 11-year-old at our Thanksgiving dinner party, and read aloud to guests: “Be thankful for what you have. Your life, no matter how bad you think it is, is someone else’s fairy tale.” It’s food for thought. And it might make a more lasting impression than the turkey leftovers.

Something’s missing. Oh, yes, it’s milk, eggs, spices and 45 minutes in the oven.

Something’s missing. Oh, yes, it’s milk, eggs, spices and 45 minutes in the oven.

Take a Seat, Buddy

Grown-ups have the office water cooler. Animals have their watering hole. Writers, well, I suppose writers have bars.

Now school kids have the buddy bench.

What do these all hubs have in common? They’re gathering places. Folks seek them out when they’re looking for company. They’re where you can chat about the game last night, or complain about the traffic this morning – or, in the case of third-graders, perhaps compare notes on the latest Pixar movie.

And just kick a ball around.

The buddy bench is a recess hangout for lonely kids who want to make friends. Think of it this way: The buddy bench is a (bigger) variant of the spare-penny tray, the one you used to see at the store checkout counter. Need a friend? Take a friend. Have a friend? Give a friend.

I don’t know who thought of this first. But I do know it was brought to our continent by a grade-one student named Christian in York, Pennsylvania. He saw an online photo of a friendship bench on a German playground, thought it was wunderbar, and lobbied his own school to install one. The bench has since been added to an ever-increasing number of playgrounds across North America.

It came to Rick Hansen Public School near Toronto, and school parent Rachel Stewart was so delighted by the idea that she’s started a crowdfunding campaign to get the benches into dozens of other Ontario schoolyards.

She knows they can make a difference. Rachel’s had to move her son Owen to a new city and school three times. She’s seen how hard he’s worked to establish new friendships each time. The buddy bench helps eliminate barriers.

Hear how Owen tells it on her crowdfunding page: “When I was new, I sat there and someone came to me and asked me to play. I felt happy. And now when I see kids on it, I ask them to play with me… We all do.”

Need a buddy, take a buddy.

Unlike a penny, it’s priceless.

There’s always room for more: Owen is happy to scootch over.  (Photo courtesy of Rachel Stewart)

There’s always room for more. Owen is happy to scootch over. (Photo courtesy of Rachel Stewart)

Dear Future Mom: It’s All Good

It started when a pregnant Italian woman reached out to her country’s national Down syndrome support organization. She had learned her baby would be born with the disorder, and didn’t know what that would mean for the future. “I’m scared,” she wrote. “What kind of life will my child have?”

In a spectacular case of show-don’t-tell, the support organization opted not to write back with pamphlets and statistics, and all the answers to all the FAQs. Instead, the group decided to create a video demonstration of how beautiful the child’s life could be.

“Dear Future Mom, don’t be afraid. Your child will be able to do many things,” explain a series of smiling, attractive, confident and capable men, women and children with Down syndrome. They proceed to give examples of all the things people with Down syndrome can do – go to school, get a job, travel – while standing in front of their bookshelves, laptops and hip cityscapes. And then, importantly, they note: “Your child can be happy. Just like I am. And you’ll be happy too.”

At the end of the video, they all hug their moms… who are all, without exception, smiling broadly. (Yes, okay, I got teary, so what?)

It’s a fabulous idea, so worthy of its 6.5 million views on YouTube to date.

And as I write about this, I’m contemplating the messages that I could have benefited from, if they’d been told to me while I was pregnant. “Dear Future Mom, don’t be scared,” the people in video would have said to me. “Yes, your child will throw tantrums. She will experience diaper malfunctions. She will suffer through ear infections and bullying.” They would go on to say: “When she’s a teenager, she’ll go to parties, and she’ll ride in cars driven by high school students. And you won’t ever fall sleep until she’s home.” And then the people in that video could have provided that same exact much-needed reassurance: “Dear Future Mom,” they would have said to me. “Your child will be happy. And you’ll be happy, too.”

No matter what our kids’ differences, all new moms could use a boost in confidence. How fabulous that this group of individuals has put so much effort into helping one expectant parent (and likely countless others, too) to feel uplifted.

Dear Future Mom: It won’t be long at all before your smile looks this huge…

Dear Future Mom: It won’t be long at all before your smile looks this huge…


…And one day, when your child is all grown up, you too will take selfies with this much joy in them…

…And one day, when your child is all grown up, you too will take selfies with this much joy in them…